she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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