At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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