There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
