make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
