He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
