some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
