Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
