talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
