i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
