Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
