the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
