You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
