I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
