How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
