What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
