Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
