I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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