Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He passed out mid-signature
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
