We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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