I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
