We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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