Porn is love you can see.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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