your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
