i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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