my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
