I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize