Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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