So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
