its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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