Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
