she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You're like the curious george of whores
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
