question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
