Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
