Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
