So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Enjoy the penises
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize