i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
