I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
These tits shall not be calmed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
