You really coming over, don't trick.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i came on her dog
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
