I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
