does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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