So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
