party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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