My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
