I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
