It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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