I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
