Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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