Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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