I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
