Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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