He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
