she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
