Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
