Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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