Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
