Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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