if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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