yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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