She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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