just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
