Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
