that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
