he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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