I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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