Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
