They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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