bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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