And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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