just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
