but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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