you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize