Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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