does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
