how can u be prego again
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
