You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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