She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have aggressive nipples.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
