All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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