are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
