fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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