literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
