at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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